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Wednesday, October 18, 2006As the Squirrel TurnsI live amongst crazy squirrels. Dozens of them. Maybe hundreds, I don't know. I haven't tagged them. I have no idea what makes them crazy. Perhaps it's the gasoline fumes from the nearby highway, or the pesticide from my neighbors' lawns (our lawn is blissfully, naturally weedy), or the questionable water supply in these parts. In any case, they are insane. For example, my lawn chairs, which I will admit were purchased at Home Depot for about twelve bucks apiece--lovely forest green faux-Adirondack chairs--are slowly being consumed. They look like swiss cheese. Every morning there's a bigger pile of plastic shavings under the chair, and a new hole in one of the slats of "wood." And the outdoor planters I usually use for my mums have completely disappeared. I don't know if the evil beasts ate them, or if they stole them for some nefarious purpose. Maybe they're throwing them off the turnpike overpass. I'll be honest. The squirrels scare me. They have no fear. I often find them hanging out in the garage, or stripping green blueberries off of our small blueberry bushes. They seem to mock, like the soup Nazi, "No blueberries for you!" In the morning when I go out to get the paper, there are always seven or eight congregated on my front doorstep. What are they doing there? Are they planning to leave a burning bag of doggie doo? Are they plotting to overthrow the Republican party? Are they peeing on my welcome mat? Sometimes the doorbell rings, and... there's nobody there! Last night, while I was deep into an episode of Weeds, I heard scratching above my head. They were trying to get in. They were trying to get in, I tell you! If my blogging suddenly stops, you'll know why... posted by Donna Birdsell at 7:50 PM Previous Posts:
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1 Comments:
Silver Fox said...
In the morning when I go out to get the paper, there are always seven or eight congregated on my front doorstep. What are they doing there? Are they planning to leave a burning bag of doggie doo? Are they plotting to overthrow the Republican party? Are they peeing on my welcome mat?
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Ohhhhhhhhh, I'm gonna be snort-giggling about that paragraph for years. Squirrels... :::Shaking head:::
Plotting to overthrow King Ge--uhmmmmm, the Republican Party. I knew it, I just *knew* it. Can I send my voles over to join them?
Nan (BCRW)
2:31 PM
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